When people are afraid to tell you the truth because they are SO afraid to hurt you, is that a lie? And if so, is it a white lie? Can it go down as the biggest asshole stunt ever? No. I don't know what else to think right now. I have no emotions as of now, I'm just kind of dead inside. I'm glad she finally told me, but I really thought she loved me the way I loved her. But that's fate and believing for you. It never works out perfect like the movies. She won't suddenly realize how "great" i am because the truth is... i'm not that great, and that's never my luck.
"just like the pessimist always says, 'the cup is not half full' as far as he sees there's nothing left in the cup" I know that someday we'll be close again as friends. I know that someday this pain will stop... but I want that day to come now. I keep telling myself just to get over her, but it's really not that easy. She's the greatest person I've had in my life so far and I've lost that. Yes, it's probably my fault... always is. So now I'm sliding toward that perpetual happiness I've been believing in. Maybe beliefs will take me somewhere this time.