justin (whoring) wrote,

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it felt like a one night stand that last for four years.

isn't it funny how sometimes when you're upset you say shit you don't mean? this tends to happen late at night for me, almost like i don't think it through enough. in my mind those words came off to be great powerful song lyrics to her they made her quiet like me and i knew i had screwed up. i never meant it that way, in my head it wasn't bad just painful to me and i wanted to express my pain. but what could i do? i said it and that just killed her. we're ok now i guess still berely talking and even when we do it's awkward now.

i'm getting into old sublime again (i say that like theres a new sublime), and rap more and more. it's almost as if i'm that wigger that everyone hates. my favorite song righ tnow is caress me down by sublime... if you don't know this song i suggest you download it and if you do know it i'm sure you love it.

this weekend was kind of awkward, i spent time with friends but it didn't feel right i felt like i had direction in my life and they, they were just freecaring life away. still smoking pot, not doing homework, being the bad asses that i once was. and for once in my life i saw that that's what i never had wanted to be. i always wanted to be that serious guy that knew where he was going and who he wanted in life. if you know what i'm talking about you know that as a kid it's impossible to act like that, and it feel weird from both views (yours and your friends)

that's all for now.
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